First Crusader Challenge

Friday, February 18, 2011



My first challenge is a 300 blurb on moi. I’m supposed to use the words “bloviate,” “fuliguline,” “rabbit,” and “blade”. I’m also to share a secret, tell a lie and share some weird and quirky stuff. I hope you’ll come back after I bare my stuff. Anyway…here goes.
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Here’s my secret.  Years ago, someone robbed me of a gold chain. I wasn’t sure what the thief wanted,  but I fought him off.  Afterwards, I found out I had peed on myself. Just enough so that I knew it happened.

Part of my weirdness is that I feel naked without lipstick, so if I’m in the office all day and I have to go out, I’ll forget to comb my hair, but must put on my lipstick. Even at home, I wear lipstick.

Peeing is a natural body function, but sometimes it’s an annoyance. Before I go to bed, sit down to eat and while I’m brushing my teeth, the need to pee creeps up on me, like it’s some kind of ritual. And guess what? My son has this affliction too. A few swishes of the toothbrush and he starts getting a panicky look in his eyes. Maybe it’s some strange family sickness? Heh

One of my better traits is that I’m an organizer, which is advantageous at work. If it’s in shambles, give it to me and I’ll unshamble it, but I do resist the urge to bloviate about it until people’s eyes start glazing over.

On to my favourite thing. I only need to look at it to put on weight, but I cannot resist Cheeesecake. Punishment comes through days and days of exercise.  If I’m not careful, the weight gain is liable to have me rocking from side to side and shuffling like a fuliguline.

My neighbour has a rabbit hutch in his front yard. I think the occupants all ran or hopped away from home. I didn’t mind his pets, but at times the smell made me want to run him through with a weapon. Anything with a blade would have been ideal.

Somewhere in my rambling, I’ve told you something that’s not the honest-to-goodness truth. Can you figure out what that is?

47 comments:

  1. Oh man, this is hilarious! I have no idea what the lie is. I hope it's that you wanted to run a blade through your neighbor.

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  2. Oh, cheesecake...Yum! As far as the lie, I might go with the lipstick?? You've written your post in a way it's impossible to tell. Everything seems to fit so perfectly. Nicely done!

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  3. J.L., you're good. Which is the lie? Heck if I know. ; ) BTW pass a slice of that cheesecake while you're up.

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  4. Hi fellow Crusader, stopping by to say "hi," and to follow. Nope, I can't tell what's the lie. You're good.

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  5. Tanya, Liz, Zan and Catherine, glad you dropped by. I'm sealing my lips on that lie until Rach says I can tell, which is next post, I believe. :D

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  6. Wonderful use of the words! LOL- No clue what the lie is- the rabbit cage?

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  7. Summer, I wish I was lying about that. :D

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  8. Oh man! Now you've got me wishin I had some cheesecake in the house! Yum! As for the lie... I think you are perhaps lying about your bloviating about your organizing skills. You're probably quite quiet about them.

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  9. Well, the pee thing sounds so outrageous that it's probably true but whether your family has to pee while you brush... hmm, not sure.

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  10. This is a tough one – to find the lie that is – so I’m gonna say you don’t really gain weight just looking at cheesecake. ;)

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  11. Danette, Wishing for some cheesecake myself.

    Clarissa, yup, truth is stranger than fiction.

    Holly, well yes, that could be considered a bit of an exaggeration, but still, I can feel the weight just piling on before I get a forkful of cheesecake to my lips.

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  12. I think the peeing curse is your lie.

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  13. Great job! I really am taking a stab in the dark at this one, but I'm going to go for the rabbit cages, too. Even though I've lived in places with livestock next door it seems just strange enough to be the lie.

    Now I have a craving for cheesecake!

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  14. I'm guessing that you really do bloviate to people about your organising of things and stuff :D

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  15. Okay, I have no idea. So I'll just say the whole thing is a lie--liar, liar pants on fire.

    Seriously, I guess I will go with the thief and the gold chain. That's as good a guess as any--you're too tricky.

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  16. No, can't say which one's the lie...you're too good!

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  17. Fellow crusader and now follower. I can't guess the lie, can't wait to find out!

    Nikki

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  18. I have no idea what the lie is, hello fellow crusader :)

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  19. I don't want to bloviate or anything, but damn, I'm a good liar! Not that it's a good thing... Scratches head and shuffles off for a self-imposed time out in a corner.

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  20. Funny post!
    Hmm, let me see. The lipstick and organizational skills, I believe those are true about you. I'm thinking maybe the days of post-cheesecake exercise might be the lie, 'cuz that doesn't sound like fun. :)

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  21. You're good! I can believe everything or nothing - wonderful!

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  22. Cheesecake! <3

    Great to meet you fellow Crusader! ^^

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  23. Hi, Fellow Crusader! :)

    I would guess the organization. It's hard to decide!

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  24. Damn, you're good. I haven't a clue. Umm .. the rabbits are a fib. They smell great!

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  25. Great Post. I have no idea what you lied about. Sorry.

    I’m a fellow crusader and thought I’d stop by to say HEY! Great blog! I’m your newest follower. You can find me at www.christinebryant.blogspot.com .

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  26. HHMMM this is hard. I think your neighbor doesn't have a rabbit hutch in his front yard. I'm hoping anyway because it would be really sad if you didn't love Cheesecake. ;)

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  27. I'm going to guess your neighbor doesn't have a rabbit hutch.

    I cannot go to bed without peeing first, even if I just peed five minutes earlier. It's a very annoying quirk!

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  28. Thanks for stopping in guys, but unfortunately the neighbour does have a rabbit hutch. This morning I passed by and there were baby chick inside. I think the rabbits have upgraded to a better neighbourhood. I'll be swinging by yours soon, if I haven't already!

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  29. Susan, I'm so glad there's someone else in the world with this affliction. I was beginning to think I was really weird. :D

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  30. Fellow crusader and follower. Thinking the running the neighbor through with a blade might be a lie. Great post. I needed a smile today. Thank you.

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  31. I'm hoping the gold chain experience isn't true but if it is then maybe the peeing yourself a little might be the lie. I love the lipstick addiction, that's great! And my needing to pee in my house involves having to sit down for a meal. My kids wait until dinner is served and then have to go to the bathroom before they start eating. It might be because I tell them to wash their hands before they eat and that stimulates this urgency they put off until food is served. Haha!

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  32. haven't a clue that was good - just dropping in to say hi - have about another 100!! blogs to visit - will keep an eye on your lie

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  33. Oh you're good, real good! I have no idea what the lie is so I'll go with the lipstick.

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  34. Regina, unfortunately, I've wanted to do the unspeakable.

    Patricia, unfortunately, I was robbed and boy do I understand kids wanting to do the bathroom thing when it's time to eat.

    Alberta, lots of blogs to visit too. Thanks for stopping in.

    Kerri, thanks for coming by and I do have a more-than-ordinary liking for lipstick.

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  35. Great post. I don't have a clue. :)

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  36. hmmm . . . no idea, but i can certainly commiserate with the cheesecake and the lipstick.

    as far as i'm concerned, i skip eating the cheesecake and just schmear it directly onto my ass . . . since that's where it's going to end up anyway. plus, there's the added advantage it won't mess up my lipstick.

    try it! you'll never go back.

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  37. Who doesn't love cheescake? Lol! And since I have a tiny bladder I'm guessing that part is true. Lipstick, miught be like my lipgloss obsession. I will freak if I forget to bring it with me. But since you are fancier than me and wear lipstick I will guess that your not like me and haven't actually forgot to comb your hair.

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  38. Thanks for stopping in guys!
    Lana, you're hilarious.

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  39. I hope there is cheesecake in Heaven, and I don't think the lipstick is the lie. I'm going with your organizational skills.

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  40. Hello fellow crusader! I would have to agree, there is NO WAY you can gain weight just by LOOKING! :D

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  41. With all that peeing there had to be a lie in there somewhere!

    Denise:)

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  42. So very nice to meet you! Thanks for dropping by blog!

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  43. That is hilarious! I have no idea what the lie is, except that like Denise I'm suspecting pee has something to do with it :)
    Catherine

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  44. Hi Crusader. Enjoyed your blog but I have no clue as to the little lie. I am guessing the neighbor with the bunnies? No clue.

    Love your blog, very unique and fun to look at. I like your ideas and your suggestions. I'll be back frequently. Oh, and anyone who mentions peeing in my first visit, gets my vote.For anything.

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  45. Thanks for stopping in, everybody. I posted today and the lie was that I wear lipstick, even at home. I definitely don't do that. Looking forward to knowing you all better.

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  46. It's nice to meet you. If there is a lie, I can't tell what it is!

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Don't be shy. I'd love to hear what you think.